I think the NBA year-end awards stupid and pointless, so I made up my own: (Award #1:The Tom Petty Memorial “Freefallin” award)

I never cared much for end of the season awards. It’s alot like your ranking articles or whatever. I’ll be the first to admit I can never resist reading any “Top 50 players of all-time” article. I’d read “top 50 left-handed point guards under 6 feet tall” if someone could be bothered to write it, mostly because I love a good argument. To me, the awards only exist to function as argument fodder and more often than not, I disagree with the selections. After all this time, nobody can be 100% sure what the criteria for any of these awards actually is. Ask 100 people what the MVP is really all about and you’ll get 97 different answers. Coach of the Year always ends up going to the team that won significantly more games than it did last year, regardless of whether there were external circumstances at work. Most of the other awards are usually fairly political, since the voting comes from writers with their own personal biases and such.

Awards are stupid, basically.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to throw my own awards against the wall and see what sticks.

Award #1: The Tom Petty Memorial “free Fallin'” award for the player whose stock dropped the Most in 2013 goes to…

Kevin Love. Behold, the dude who went into the 2008 draft as a talented, chubby big man with an uncertain future, spent three years teasing the Wolves with his talent while failing to get into good enough shape to maximize said talent. By the time he bothered to shed the weight and get serious, he was putting up gaudy numbers and gaining the unfailing praise of just about everyone, despite the fact that his team wasn’t winning shit. And just when his stock reached such a zenith that people were crazy enough to start throwing around “top 5 player” proclamations, he turned into an injury-prone, loose-lipped crybaby, just in time to wreck his stock and make fools of anyone who saw him as anything more than a empty-stat, no-defensive playing ballfreeze on a going-nowhere team.

2013 Kevin Love played 18 games. 2013 Kevin Love played with an injured wrist and shot THIRTY FIVE PER CENT FROM THE FIELD before re-injuring said wrist and missing the rest of the season. 2013 Kevin Love said this about his team and the people running his team, then did the full backpedal months later in an attempt to save what was left of his face.

So for those of you who tuned in late, Kevin Love made 13 million dollars this year (and is still owed another 45 mil. over the next three) to get hurt, shoot 35% from the field, cry about his team not giving him MORE MONEY, get hurt again, then do a soft-shoe routine about being pumped up for next year and ready to play hard and all that good shit.

Winner!

Runner-up goes to Dirk Nowitzki, who quietly torpedoed the Mavs season by being out of shape, getting hurt and putting up dismal numbers all year and worst of all, subjecting us to this.

Kind of baffles me that he’s managed to escape all the finger pointing for a .500 season, even though he missed 30 games and had his worst statistical season since 2000.

Apologies in advance if this year ends up being the beginning of the end for the almost 35 year old. If he comes back strong next year though, he’ll have deserved a whole lot more scorn for his 2013 than he ever got.

Oh, and a shoutout to Joe Johnson and Deron Williams for being the 37 million dollar fat, disinterested coach killing back court of the future or whatever.

-JH

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s