HATH liked Wes' "Vintage Performances" post so much, he vandalized it

 (I saw this post and I was slightly jealous I didn’t write it. I mean, everything he said touched me in one way or another (pause). So I’m gonna throw my two cents in, in bold type. Word.-Hath)

 

We all have bad days.  Even NBA greats.  Observe:

December 27, 1991

Note Tim Hardaway’s stellar performance: 44 minutes, 2 points, 0 FOR 17 from the field.  He did have 13 assists, and Golden State still won.  When you have Chris Mullin, that can happen.  A few more observations:

(How in the name of Sweet tapdancing Christ did Don Nelson get this many rad role players on one team? Yeah, they had Mully, Hardaway and Marciulionis and Billy Owens, but the rest of this team takes my breath away. Agnew, Ty Hill, Pasta Alexander, Mario Elie, Chris Gatling and Jim Peterson, Alton Lister, Mike Smrek, Tom Tolbert, Jud Buechler and Rod Higgins? That’s insane.)

– SOSB favorite VINCENT ASKEW got the start.  Askew only got 27 starts in his 14-year career, so I always make an effort to point one out when I find one.

(Or as Chick Hearn always called him, Vincent Agnew.)

– Tyrone Hill also got the start that night.  Only got 9 minutes, but you have to remember that Hill was best served as a “short-burst” kind of player at that point.

(My brother an I have a name for this phenomenon. We call it “The Inspirational Starter”. He gets the distinction of being a starter, but not the minutes. Ervin “Not Magic” Johnson is considered the godfather of the inspirational start. Old Erv started more than half the NBA games he played in yet somehow still managed to play  20.1 minutes per games. His 1996 season is breathtaking: 60 starts in 81 games, 18.8 mpg.  )

-It was early in his career, and he still had interests outside of basketball, including building upon the movie career he started with “The Serpent and The Rainbow.”

(Another joke with my brother and I. That picture is from the torture scene, where the scary african dude asks Bill Pullman to scream for his life. Bill gave it his best effort, but the African dude, unimpressed, says “not goooooooood enough!!!! and whacks his dick off with a ball peen hammer. When we were kids, my brother may or may not have used that catchphrase while pinning his significantly smaller brother down and threatening to give him the dreaded “pinkbelly” (defined by urban dictionary thusly). Have you ever had one? That shit suuuuuucks.

The act of rendering a person’s belly skin bright pink with a series of sharp, open-handed slaps.)

Not a good day for Bill Pullman.

That’s all for now.  Remember, if you’re down, things will get better.  They got better for Tim Hardaway, of course.  Just don’t go using him as a guideline for the anti-gay comments you might be considering unleashing.  It’s best to keep your mouth shut.

(On the bright side, you might get made fun of by George Takei, possibly the funniest gay man to ever walk the earth.)

– Wes Lilliman

(-John Hathwell)

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