The Grizzlies' gigantic, hideous, fire-breathing collapse won't soon be forgotten

Now, I don’t reckon I have explanation for what went down on Sunday, when Memphis outscored the Clippers by 24 points in the first 40 minutes of their playoff game, only to be outscored by 25 in the last 8.

Yeah, I ain’t ever seen anything like it, either. I’ve thought about last years’ Dallas/Portland game, the Lakers 16 point fourth quarter comeback in game 7 of the 2000 WCF against portland and a few other. Hell, I even have a real distant memory of Kentucky overcoming a 30 point deficit in a game against LSU in the mid 90’s. You know, because I’m that old.

Still, the Clippers’ comeback beats ’em all. I must have watched the 4th quarter five times, and I’m still wrapping my head around what happened. The Grizzlies melted the Clipper defensive like hot butter on your breakfast toast for three quarters, only to completely come unglued in the 4th. I mean, watch it again. LA was trying to give them back the game, committing back-to-back traveling violations in the middle of the comeback, missing free-throws and just generally making it that much tougher on themselves.

Anyway, I’ve wandered off the point.

Lucky for us, this mightiest of all choke jobs occurred in 2012, so that we might all reap the benefits of the internet comedy it would spawn. Here’s the best of what I found.

The ballad of poor towel boy (if only he had thrown it in)

Yep, took this picture straight off my TV. Poor sucker, replaying the whoile horrific scene in his head while his more sensical buddy tells him something like, “dude, they still have to beat us three more times, and really, when will Nick Young ever shoot like that again”?

Aside from the “paralyzed by complete and utter shock” defense, what possible reason do you have to still be hanging around in an empty arena after something like this goes down? You’re just asking to be made an example of.

The perils of premature celebration

There was, stoked beyond belief, buoyed by the lights’ out shooting of Mike Conley and possessing the audacity required to rock that headband in a public setting. Surely, this was merely the first step in the Grizzlies’ glorious path to the NBA Finals, a 16 win party that will be forever etched in the minds and hearts of Memphians both young and old. Rejoice River City, your time has come!

And there he was thirty minutes later, trying to figure out what the fuck happened.


Pop quiz: What could possibly be crazier or more unfathomable than this comeback?

Answer: Placing a bet on the Clippers while they were down more than 20 in the fourth. That’s what some college kid did, putting $25 down at +55555, and then another $50 moments later.

Assuming this isn’t a hoax, this kid won 40k on this game, and will probably spend the rest of his life making similarly asinine bets, hoping to recapture the magic.

Even if he never hits the lottery like this again, he’s still way ahead of the rest of us in the “totally dumb fucking luck” department.

And finally, the “Home Alone” face

Says it all, don’t it?

-John Hathwell


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