SOSB Flashback: Reggie Evans WILL grab your stuff: A brief history of junk touching in basketball

(originally posted on 10.18.2010)

Funny thing happened during wednesday nights meaningless exhibition game between the Suns and Raptors: Both Grant Hill AND Reggie Evans were ejected for…

Patting each other on the butt?   

  Sort of odd, right? 

I mean, you’d think that’s a pretty quick hook for a couple off guys participating in one of the most common male sporting rituals, eh? 

One catch. Young Reginald has a history. 

You see, Mr. Evans once Grabbed Chris Kaman’s testes from behind during a nationally televised play-off game, and then tried to walk away like nothing happened. 

       Now, I’m all for giving people a second chance in life, but at some point one has to err on the side of caution. I mean, it’s gotta be pretty hard to play Basketball at the highest level while living in constant fear of being touched in your private area. 

While we’re at it, a few more notable examples of inappropriate touching on the hardwood: 

CHRIS PAUL CLOCKS JULIUS HODGE IN THE FRONTBOTTOM 

Hey, they don’t mess around in the ACC, you know?  Apparently, CP didnt take kindly to being boxed-out here. Well, that or he was jealous of the ACC Player of the year.    

AVERY JOHNSON GOES LOW ON JOSH HOWARD

 Looks like an accident…or was it? 

Everyone knows Johnson has a rep for being excitable on the bench, but just how productive do you expect Howard to be if he has to re-enter the game in that condition?


    

THE NUTS YOU GRAB (MAY BE YOUR OWN) 

Make a huge shot in the play-offs, grab your stuff.  I mean, why the fuck not? 

 Of Course, Eddie House wasn’t the first to do this. Sam Cassell was the innovator AND master of this move, known as the “big balls dance”, which has since been borrowed by Roger Mason and Kobe Bryant, among others:  

Of all the things to be known for…

-John Hathwell

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