SOSB's (inaugural edition of) "The long-forgotten baller files". Part 1: Elliott Perry

Don’t ask me where this idea came from, because I really can’t give you an intelligent answer. Ditto for why I conjured up Elliott Perry for the first installment, of all people. What can I say, I just did.

Still, as ideas go, it ain’t half bad. I’ve got the names (and stories) of thousands of old ballplayers floating around in my head, and they usually pop up in my mind whenever they feel the need to. Now, I can spread the word or whatever. 

Again, don’t bother asking me why but for some reason I was looking at a picture of John Lucas III today and I thought of Perry. Not sure why. really. I mean, they don’t look a fucking thing alike or anything.

Nobody looks like Elliot Perry, to be honest.

Maybe I have a thing for goofy lookin’ left-handed point guards.  Maybe it’s just that Perry was a memorable dude. Not eaxtly sure how many 150 pound, chicken-legged, goggle rockin’ motherfuckers made it to the NBA, but it can’t be too long of a list.

A quick trip to reminds me that Perry managed to stick around the league for 10 years as the a backup PG for seven different teams. Not bad for a late second round pick. He was like the basketball equivalent to a studio musician: call him up when you need someone to make the gig (or your starter tears his ACL) and he’ll come in and play all the parts properly, like a professional. Just don’t expect him to get all fancy and shit. He was there to get the job done, nothing more, nothing less.

And yet, for some odd reason Perry managed to land an endorsement deal with Adidas and even had his own commercial, which I’d never seen until about 15 minutes ago. How many guys who averaged 6 points a game for their career can say that much?

Perry seems to be chillin’ these days, doing radio work on U of Memphis  games. Wiki tells me he’s actually a minority owner of the Suns now. Sounds pretty racist.

Oh shit, almost forgot to mention his old nickname.



-John Hathwell


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