NOBODY, AND I MEAN NOBODY, WANTS ANDRAY BLATCHE

It’s quite the phenomenon. Even in the recent history of the NBA, we’ve seen guys turfed out of the league under almost every conceivable circumstance. All-time greats like Allen Iverson end up in Turkey because their egos won’t allow them to accept lesser roles even though their skills have eroded. Mike Sweetney is playing in Puerto Rico because he likes eating more than any reasonable man should.

Stephon Marbury ate vasoline and talked crazy enough to scare off every last team in the league, thus ending up in China at the tender age of 31, an age where he should still be good enough to find a home in the big leagues.

Like I said, the examples abound. Still, even amongst all the casualties, Blatche is poised to blaze a trail all his own.

Quick, how many all-star caliber talents can you think of that were completely gone at age 25, a time when most players haven’t even hit their physical prime? Even the most troubled players of yesteryear, from Bad New Barnes to JR Rider to Sweet Pea Daniels were given repeated chances until they were too old to make any real difference.

Well, Andray has a good shot to be the first in a long time, if ever. Yeah he can play, but he’s also the biggest headcase in the league, by a wide-margin. Sure, he’s a 6’11 forward with guard skills. You know what else he is?

An Entrepreneur.

A Criminal.

A Quote machine.

And almost the proud owner of a triple-double. Almost.

Yeah, his name is in the rumor mill because everyone’s is in this era of martial-law internet reporting, but how many teams could want or even handle this guy in their locker room. Boston would be the best bet, but there’s still a 50/50 chance it ends with Kevin Garnett’s shoe getting lodged up Dray’s backside.

Oh, and for the record, I hope he ends up playing somewhere. I even proposed a trade to the D-League. I want the guy to play pro basketball in some place or another.

Truth is, the game just ain’t the same without him

-John Hathwell

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3 thoughts on “NOBODY, AND I MEAN NOBODY, WANTS ANDRAY BLATCHE

  1. Yeah, I don’t think Blatche ever missed the team bus because he was paying Pac-Man like Wash did. One of these days I’ll have to do the all-time knucklehead team. These kids today don’t know about Marvin Barnes, Yinka Dare, Benoit Benjamin, etc.

    • Yinka! 0 assists for a whole season. You gotta put Spencer Haywood on that squad. And don’t forget the Phoenix Suns coke dealing squad from the 80s.

  2. And to round it out, you have to include the 90’s jail blazers, isiah’s Knicks team that had Eddy Curry, Marbury, Crawford and Z-bo, the 1980 clippers with mad new barnes, jellybean and world b. free and the 2011 Whizz, featuring Blatche, Arenas, accused murderer Javaris Crittenton and JaVale McGee.

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