NON MUST HAVE HEARD ME SAY HE WAS A DISGRACE TO KRYPTON

Hey, I wish I could take it back now, but what’s done is done, you know?

Last week I blew the whistle on Non’s transition from loathsome Krpytonian villain to mediocre NBA center, and I might have said some less than flattering things about his performance thus far.

Now, he’s making General Zod and that Pat Benetar-looking chick proud, averaging 17 and 10 and shooting 65% in the last last 7 games. Dude is ballin’ out of control and becoming a minor youtube phenom, garnering everything from comparisons to Jeremy Lin’s recent success to oddball nicknames (The Montenegran Bulldozer!”).

So yeah, it’s become quite clear to me that this was all park of Pekovic’s design. Surely, he didn’t want come out averaging 20 and 10 and just blow his cover straight from the jump. Instead, he preferred to let his power be felt gradually, little by little, in hopes that people might not notice his lazer beam eyes and inhuman strength.

Your secret is safe with me, killer.

-John Hathwell

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