Oh, it’s the greatest group of names I’ve ever seen. I mean, I thought the 2010 Baylor hoops team had the best collection I’d ever see in my lifetime.

That squad had guys named Givon Crump, Quincy Acy, LaceDarius Dunn, Ekpe Udoh and Tweety Carter. Sounds more like a personnel listing for one of those old funk bands like the Bar-Kays than a hoops team.

Anyway, Baylor’s old roster has been knocked on it’s ass by what Steve Lavin put together at St. john’s this year. The team itself isn’t anything special, having stumbled to a 10-14 record. The names, though.

The names.

Leads me to conclude that Lavin was actually recruiting for this more than wins. Hey, what’s more memorable, a 5th place finish in the Big East or a roster full of new age hippie names like Moonpie and Digitalis?

Listen, I challenge all of you to find a roster, past or present, that can beat this one. Find me a team with better names than Moe Harkless (who names their kid Moe these days?), Anteh Ayree (from Georgia, not Egypt),

Moe Harkless– Look, nobody is named Moe anymore. Nobody. Sure, you can find alot of Maurice’s shortened to Mo, but I’m guessing you won’t find many teenaged Moe’s on the planet, nevermind a 19 year old Brooklyn kid.

Anteh Ayree- Don’t ask me what kind of name Anteh is. Really, I have no idea. I would have guessed Egyptian or African. Turns out he’s from Georgia. Ok then.

Nurideen Lindsey-Sadly, this guy transferred to Rider after just 11 games. Perhaps he got teased by the rest of his teammates? Beats me.

Sir’Dominic Pointer-That’s right. All one word. Sir’Dominic. great a name as that is, I probably just would have gone the whole way and named him after the old Parliament character.

That’s just me.

And that’s not even the best name on the team. What could be better, you ask? Well, I’ll you…

God’s Gift Achiuwa- What can I tell you, dude is literally god’s gift to college basketball. I could go on for days, but Wes summed it up quite nicely awhile back.

And there you have it. The 2012 St. John’s Basketball team wins the mythical name championship, taking their rightful place alongside the all-time nickname team, the 1980 San Diego Clippers, who featured dudes named World B. Free, Jellybean Bryant, Bad News Barnes and the Big Redhead. Of, course that team sucked too.

Hardly the point though, right?

-John Hathwell


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