I mean, what a piss poor disguise this guy is sporting. Seriously, just because he’s averaging a mere 8 points and 5 rebounds a game doesnt mean he’s got me fooled into believing he’s a mere mortal or whatever. The average man on the street might not know any better, but do you think I didn’t see that movie a dozen times when I was a kid? I know that dude can cook snakes with his lazer beam eyes and break guns in half with his bare hands and shit.

So yeah, I’m totally at a loss as to how a Superhero from Krypton can’t even put up decent numbers in the NBA. hate to say it, but so far this dude is a fucking disgrace to kryptonians. Well, unless you tell me that Kevin Love is actually General Zod. That would explain alot, actually.

And someone explain to me how he ended up playing in Minnesota instead of say, the planet Houston?

-John Hathwell

 (Check out our follow-up to the NON saga here.)

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