(REALLY GOOD) AMATEUR HOUR(S) – ROAD TEST WEEKEND

Fresh off of a thrilling second week, which featured things like SEC shootouts and that night game in the Big House that you may have heard about, the question was how would some of the NCAA powerhouse schools play when removed from the friendly confines of their home turf? A few of the highlights:

(#3)LSU 19, (#25)Mississippi State 6

A classic, dirty SEC slugfest, with LSU’s impressive defense keeping it locked down for a longer duration than Mississippi State’s defense could. Craig James noted that, “… in the SEC, you gotta play 4 quarters of football.” Indeed, Craig. A better quote came from Les Miles before the game even started, stating that he had “… a violent defense. Violent in a good way, though. Also, our starting QB will kick you in the fucking face without hesitation.”

In a good way, though.

(#4)Boise State 40, Toledo 15

We were warned all week: “WATCH OUT FOR THIS TOLEDO TEAM.” And, sure enough, they showed up to play. Of course, they were handled pretty easily, but they were, in fact, there. Kellen Moore did his best to replicate Tom Brady’s performance against the Dolphins. I now wait for Moore to replicate Brady’s off-field “accomplishments.” Something tells me he’ll struggle.

(#18)West Virginia 37, Maryland 31

The Mountaineers jumped out to a big lead and then had to survive a late run from the Terrapins. The big news, though, was that Maryland brought uniform variation number 6 of 48 out of the closet, and it was better than Week 1’s fashion insult. Better, but still garbage.

(#12)Oregon 56, Missouri State 7
(#7)Wisconsin 49, Northern Illinois 7
(#20)South Florida 70, Florida A&M 17
(#2)Alabama 41, North Texas 0

(#9)Texas A&M 37, Idaho, 7

With opponents like those, who really fucking cares.

Clemson 38, (#21)Auburn 24

The streak that should have ended two weeks ago finally did end. On a better note, the WAR EAGLE is listed as “probable” for next week’s home battle (against juggernaut Florida Atlantic) after its Week 2 collision with the press box.

(#11)Nebraska 51, Washington 38

My beloved Huskies fought the good fight, but were rocked by consecutive robberies on kick-interference calls by an officiating crew that was a walking advertisement for Alzheimer’s. Shortly after that, the wheels fell off and the game resembled more of what most expected. Still, a game that featured 4 quarters of good effort from both teams, which was perhaps a cosmic reward of sorts for those who sat through over 3 hours of Matt Millen analysis.

Notre Dame 31, (#15)Michigan State 13

Notre Dame finally did it (won). Now, with that said, it has only been three weeks and I’m sick of hearing about Notre Dame, so I’m not talking about it anymore. Instead, here’s a shot of well-designed sign:

(#23)Texas 49, UCLA 20

Rick Neuheisel’s hot seat got much hotter after the Horns ran through the Bruins. Case McCoy had a good first start. Maybe, someday, he can be like his brother and be featured in a SOSB QB SHOWDOWN!

(#24)South Carolina 24, Navy 21

Losing to Navy isn’t actually as bad as it might sound, but still, it would have been bad. Fortunately, my preseason Heisman pick, Marcus Lattimore, had an absolute motherfucker of a game (246 yards, 3 TD). Part of me hopes I’m wrong about that prediction, for his sake.

(#6)Stanford 37, Arizona 10

A typical day at the office for Andrew Luck, a workmanlike performance from RB Stepfan Taylor (which is not pronounced “STEP-FAN,” as it should be), and a strong defensive showing had Stanford looking like perhaps the most well-rounded team in the Pac-12. Furthermore, Arizona was so inept when it came to putting points on the board that I typed their part of the final score before the 4th quarter had even started. Watch their field goal kicking some time for a good laugh.

(#8)Oklahoma State 59, Tulsa 33

The game STARTED somewhere around midnight EST and didn’t finish until 3:35 AM. Needless to say, I’m too old to being staying up that late in order to watch anything that has to do with Tulsa.

(#1)Oklahoma 23, (#5)Florida State 13

I almost got hurt just watching this. The much-hyped, Saturday night clash was a grinding, PHYSICAL, defense-heavy bout that did a lot to support Oklahoma’s case of being considered the top team in the nation. Try as they might, the Seminoles simply couldn’t get the ball in the end zone. It didn’t help that starting QB, E.J. Manuel, was knocked out of the game and replaced by true freshman, Clint Trickett… who will be remembered (for now) as the first NCAA QB to weigh-in under 140 pounds.

Wes Lilliman

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