My hatred of Hedo Turkoglu is well-documented, but it was also based on his laziness, his attitude, and his unique ability to emit a feeling of such indifference and boredom that you actually can feel it through your television screen. It wasn’t ever about his game. Granted, he’s got holes and, when he doesn’t care, you might as well just keep him on the bench. But, he was always a mobile bigger guy who could be a flat-out lethal shooter at times, passed decently, and often elevated his game in big-time situations.
That was the fun of it. I’d tear into him for caring more about nightlife and sleeping in than playing basketball, and then he’d shut me up with some clutch shit and say things defiantly, like “BALL,” after a good game. There was a nice little back-and-forth there.
Apparently, he just sucks now. Take a look at these playoff stats:
– 2 games played
– 6 for 25 from the field
– 2 for 11 from beyond the arc
– 2 for 4 from the line
The playoffs were usually his time to shine. The guy couldn’t care less about the regular season, but the postseason brings some spotlight and that’s what he so desperately desires. Anyhow, his playoff shooting averages, in the past, were around 43% from the field and 36% from beyond the arc. Those have dropped to a stunning 24% and 18%, respectively. Additionally, his playoff PER (player efficiency rating) is 6.7. If you don’t know much about PER, 6.7 basicially means that, statistically, you’re bad. Guys like Lebron, Durant, and Paul have PERs in the high 20s. Guys like Fabricio Oberto, Jamaal Tinsley, and Daequan Cook have PERs around 7. Come on, man.
However, why don’t we just throw stats out the window because they don’t tell everything and, of course, it’s only been two games. Use the ever-heralded “eye test” and you’ll notice that he looks sort of tentative and lost out there. Not Jeff Green, “deer-in-headlights” lost, but out of place and weird. Throwing up garbage shots. Hesitating to shoot open shots. When the hell did Hedo Turkoglu ever hesitate to shoot ANYTHING? Maybe it’s just a part of this odd affliction that seems to have murdered the efficiency of any Orlando Magic player not named “Dwight.”
Regardless, this has to change. I need Hedo to step up and start hitting game-winners and stuff. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want him to win anything significant and I hope he retires as a loser, relegates himself to a life of eating pizza and laying on the couch, balloons to 450 pounds, and eventually serves time for tax-evasion or something. But, for the time-being, the dude needs to get it going, or else I’m going to find somebody who is willing to contribute to the relationship. It takes two, ya know…
– Wes Lilliman has a PER of over 400 and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org