SOSB'S ALL-STAR SATURDAY NIGHT MUSINGS (IN REAL TIME!)

9:19 AM (PST): Wes here.  Let’s get it on…

… to clarify, I’m not doing one of those “minute-by-minute” breakdowns because I highly doubt that anyone is coming to SOSB to get their updates regarding Serge Ibaka’s dunk attempts or anything like that.  This will be more of a “collection of thoughts” posted every so often, like during commercial breaks or something.

I’m not making any predictions.  The only thing I will say is this: if Kenny Smith is acting like he usually does, then I may very well mute the television.  Never forget:

Also, this shit doesn’t start for another 8 hours, so I’m off to go do something mildly productive…

5:20 PM:  Already too much Kenny Smith.

5:54 PM:  Thoughts on the Haier Shooting Stars:

– Coco Miller = not my flavor, if ya dig.  To be fair, I doubt I’m her flavor, either.
– Taj Gibson has apparently never shot from halfcourt in his history.
– Clearly, everyone shares my sentiments regarding Kenny Smith and thank God he lost.  Also, credit to Reggie Miller for mentioning Smith’s lard-assness.

6:18 PM:  A few players I’d like to see in the Skills Challenge:

– Andrew Bynum
– Andray Blatche
– NOT Hedo Turkoglu

6:52 PM:  Inspired by Cee-Lo and his “band” of skanks, Daniel Gibson responds with a riveting 3-point shooting performance.

Paul Pierce is even hated by his (close to) hometown.

7:01 PM:  MIAMI BEATS BOSTON for once.

Chuck Barkley has been on fire with his Haywoode Workman jokes and what have you.  Accordingly, Kenny Smith has attempted to follow him with a funnier joke and has completely failed every time.

7:06 PM:  Up next is, of course, the OLIVER MILLER CALORIE-CONSUMPTION SPECTACULAR.  Or some dunk thing.

With the “Far East Movement” throwing down on stage, I hope everyone is taking this perfect opportunity to throw down some liquor.

7:15 PM:  The big question, of course, is…

… can anyone OUT-WALLACE GERALD WALLACE?!?!

7:17 PM:  “HE HASN’T REALLY HELPED ME OUT AT ALL.”
– Blake Griffin, on Kenny Smith.

Go to hell, Kenny Smith.

7:33 PM:  No Gerald Wallaces here, folks.  Unless Gerald Wallace is in the crowd.  You know what I mean.

7:50 PM:  Awesome creativity.  Remember the Asian kid who Ibaka helped out by getting his teddy bear?  I think Blake should dunk that kid to win it all.

8:09 PM:  Javale sort of went into “Wallace Mode” at the end there, but whatever.  Blake is just too much of a spectacle to lose.  Also, someone remind Dwight Howard that he’s supposed to be commentating and not saying “wassup” to damn-near everybody.

8:20 PM:  Alright, I’m done.  Fun night.  Barkley was my MVP.  And I’ll leave it to Hathwell to talk about Darryl Dawkins and that suit.

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